A New Perspective
by Clawed Galaxy Dragon
Summary: Humans died. It was a fact of life, and Zim narrowed his eyes to gleaming red slits as he pored over the designs to his latest project. The Dib was by no means old, but eventually he too would pass on. Shaking the thought off, the Irken resumed work. Preserving Dib was important. He didn't know why just yet, but he knew it all the same. And to preserve, he had to change. Irken Dib.
1. The change

New story guys, hooraaay! :D It'll be another zadf, and although school is back in session so I'm not sure how fast updates will be, as usual you have my word- it won't be abandoned.

Enjoy.

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"Gir! Bring me the doublehexaplygon!"

The Irken's stern, commanding voice rang out through the dim metal halls of his underground laboratory as if projecting from everywhere at once as he stood impatiently over a small metallic object on a table. A few seconds of unresponsive silence passed, before one of the alien's antennae twitched.

"GIR! I _SAID_-"

"Saaaay pleeease."

The high pitched voice rang out cheerily from some point in the shadowy workroom, and Zim swore. Debating with himself the demeaning nature of the request, he swallowed his pride enough to mumble out a strangled "p…ple…_please._"

A happy "Woo!" echoed through the room, fading away with increasing quiet as the word bounced off the walls and fell in volume with the sound wave's every repetition. A metallic deadweight dropped onto Zim's head from above, and the Irken crashed to the ground with a heavy thump as Gir remained on top of him and sucked his pincer-like hand blankly.

"Ugh… the doublehexaplygon, Gir?" Zim grunted, pushing the android off and standing up with a few pops and cracks signaling the realignment of his spine. Holding an arm out, Zim narrowed his eyes at his quirky servant in displeasure.

"Ohhh yeah." Gir remembered, pulling out his hand with a suction-y pop and flapping it excitedly, sending saliva spewing across the room. Making a disgusted expression, Zim shielded himself as best he could, only peeking through his fingers when the top of Gir's head opened with a mechanical noise. Reaching in, the android pulled out an object and placed it in his master's expectant hand.

Zim's eyelid twitched at the damp bundle quivering in his palm. "Gir… this is a wet Earth kitten. NOT a doublehexaplygon."

The soggy, bedraggled, pathetic orange cat mewed plaintively, and Gir snatched it back and cuddled it close. "I know, but he's reeeeaaaal cute!"

Giving up with a generic exclamation of frustration, Zim pushed past the pair and stomped over to the far end of his workroom himself. Digging through a pile of unusual tools and assorted implements, he pulled out the object he'd been seeking and about-faced to march back to the greatest and most deviously ironic project he'd ever worked on. For despite its small size, this evil little beauty of a device would cripple the Dib worm by-!

"_YOOOWWL!"_

"AAUUGH!" Zim stumbled over the cat that had woven its way unnoticed between his legs, arms circling wildly in the air in a futile attempt to regain balance.

Becoming intimately familiar with the ground for the second time that day, the Irken cracked open a bright crimson eye at the cold wet fur that slid along his face accompanied by a content purr of happiness.

"Gir! Remove this… this…ehhh…evil creature of hair immediately!" Zim demanded vaguely, leaning on one elbow and using a single claw on his opposite hand to push the dripping pile of fluff away from him.

"His name's Mr. Tickles!" Gir screeched, causing the cat to puff up and slink back comically as Gir tapped toward it like a slow motion horror film with his mouth stretched into an ecstatic smile.

"I don't care what its _name_ is, Gir! Just remove it!" Zim ordered crossly, hauling himself up from the ground and wiping off the orange cat hairs stuck to him.

Cooing, the robot grinned at the thusly dubbed Mr. Tickles as the feline backed up against a wall warily. "Mastah'll like you soon 'nough… you'll see, Mr. Tickles." Gir soothed the petrified cat, picking it up off the floor with a grating of claws and objecting "_Mrooowl!"_

With the two disturbances out of the way, the Irken let out an aggravated sigh and sidled over to his worktable again. Honestly, why did he even bother asking Gir to assist him? He should have predicted it would end in a hideous explosion, or rubber pigs, or, this time, with an underfoot soaked stray cat. Shaking his head, Zim used the doublehexaplygon to make necessary minute circuit adjustments. Yowls and giggles broke the silence as they filtered down from air vents scattered throughout the labs, and Zim did his best to devote his full attention to his masterpiece. Laboring for what felt like hours, his internal timeclock kept track of the approaching dawn as time ticked away.

_Nothing_ could afford to be wrong.

_Nothing_ could run the risk of not operating to the fullest extent.

And _nothing_ could be left to chance or uncertainty.

After all… the Dib's life depended on it.

Skool; the disgusting place where the festering little eyesores that were Earth children congregated against their wills. Some children were tolerable; others were incorrigible- it mattered not to the disguised alien among them, for Zim hated them all to some degree.

One of the human worm spawns that made a point to trip him in the halls every chance he got was with a group of pig-smelly friends across the courtyard. Zim's sensitive antennae easily picked up his shrill strident voice, and the Irken steered away from it in the hopes of avoiding a confrontation. As appealing as slamming the child of putrid Earth juices into a cement wall was to Zim, he knew from experience violence in skool didn't go over well.

Grumbling to himself at the dredged up memory, Zim took the steps leading inside the building slowly as he headed towards his classroom despite the bell not having rung yet. It was thanks to the horrible Dib beast that he'd discovered what a "detention" was, but the human's black eye for the next few days had never ceased to amuse him even if the few bruises on his own arm were hidden by his uniform.

Because, naturally, why would he afford the Dib meat the honor of knowing he'd inflicted damage on the mighty Zim's incredible physique? Laughing from afar was immensely more gratifying.

Passing the rows of tan numbered lockers, Zim idly read the labels as he brushed by the few other students traveling the hall. 385… 103… 402…207… what insidiously feeble human mind had numbered these anyway? They were clearly deficient in their ability to count, whoever they were…

Stopping before the ancient looking door labeled "P. Bitters", Zim turned the knob and suppressed a shudder of revulsion at the dead cockroach on the door's small windowsill. That bug had been there for _eons_… what black magic was his teacher using to stop it from decaying in order to keep it as a nice decoration?

Deciding he didn't want to know the nuances of how his immeasurably old teacher achieved the things she did (floating, hissing, causing phones to disappear into pits of flames and send up their tortured spirits, ect.), the Irken shrugged off the train of thought and took the seat by the door that had been his for as long as he could remember.

The sharp intake of breath across the room had Zim biting back the Irken curse word that threatened to escape.

Of _course_ Dib was here early. He hadn't been with his scary sibling in the courtyard like usual, so where else would he have gone? Bracing himself, Zim slowly slid his false lavender eyes over to lock with Dib's suspicious amber ones through that layer of glass he always wore over them.

"So, space monster! What were you doing yesterday? I know you were cloistered up in your freaky little base all night!"

Dib's question was anticipated as Zim drummed his claws along the wood of the desk in a bored fashion. Although they had both advanced a few grades over the years and a few small inches in height, their hauntingly eerie teacher had unfailingly followed them- because it was "her last century teaching before retirement", she had claimed, and that she "had no desire to become acquainted with new, hopeless generations of miserable failures."

That was all well and good for the two archrivals as far as their typical screaming matches were concerned. Ms. Bitters had obviously given up trying to stop the spats between them over the years, opting instead to let them fizzle out in the short timeframe they usually did. Now was such a time, she decided, as she raised a crinkly old lip in distaste and resumed clicking the keys of her keyboard and squinting at the monitor through her oval spectacles.

"For your information, you horrible little smell beast, I was working on an INGENIOUS PLAN!" Zim declared petulantly, crossing his arms and sticking his nonexistent nose up into the air.

Dib leaned in closer from the neighboring desk he'd temporarily perched in, glaring at the alien. "Oh yeah? What? Laser weasels? Robotically controlled squids? Hypnotic gophers? Face it Zim, all of your plans suck. They always have." Dib jabbed at the Irken's pride, knowing he'd hit a nerve when the wig atop his enemies' head lowered in correlation with the antennae beneath it flattening.

"No. Nothing of the sort." Zim brushed the irritation off, waving a hand dismissively. "In fact, I think you'll find out rather soon if you keep poking around the way you always do. You invasive, trespassing little filth monkey."

Dib opened his mouth to shoot an insult back at Zim, but a growl from the teacher's desk at the front of the room made him snap it shut with only an angry look to level at the Irken.

"I'm gonna find out, Zim. And I'm gonna stop it, whatever it is." The human swore determinedly under his breath, knowing the Irken could easily hear him. Zim blinked languidly while keeping his gaze trained on the empty whiteboard, but the slight shift of his wig told Dib he'd heard and acknowledged the threat.

"_Oh, I hope you do find out Dib. I hope you do…"_ Zim thought to himself, training his expression to remain carefully neutral.

Tromping back to his seat at the far end of the classroom, Dib pulled his chair out and slouched in it as the other students filed in lazily at the doleful clamoring of the bell. Flipping open his notebook, Dib clicked the end of a pen against his thigh and searched for his most recent entry. Ah, there it was. Dated yesterday, a Thursday. The entry was brief, detailing only a few paranoid speculations- _"Zim seemed unusually happy today. Probably an __**EEEVIIL**__ new plot!"_ The word evil was large, bold, underlined, and had mock little devil horns drawn above it with a devil tail wrapping below the word in a loopy squiggle.

What? Dib got bored during Ms. Bitter's endless doom rants just as easily as the next person, and sometimes desperate creativity accosted him. A few more sentences imparted more or less useless information- what Zim had done with his lunch that day (set fire to it without being noticed), the odd word he'd screamed at Squealing Boy when the kid had run away in terror, the fact that the fire drill's alarm had caused him extreme discomfort- mostly just piddly tidbits of data Dib had noticed and recorded to pass the time.

Sliding his dark honey colored eyes to the right, Dib met with false purple irises as he expected. Somehow- and he would probably never know how the Irken did it- Zim occasionally seemed to anticipate Dib's stares. Blue ink flowing across the crisp paper of his paranormal recording book, Dib jotted down the observation.

As pointless and trivial as his discoveries may have been, it was the only way the teen knew how to keep himself occupied until the merciful lunch bell.

The lunch bell that, when it did finally ring, caused a stampede of mass chaos out the door. Pulling his legs and arms inside the little bubble of space that was his desk, Dib still managed to get thocked in the head by an elbow and smacked with a few bookbags.

Zim had apparently exited before or with the herd, as he was nowhere to be seen. Picking up his own blue bag off the linoleum floor, Dib trotted out of the classroom and towards the lunch hall.

Arriving with the mass of the herd already fighting for spaces in line and cutting each other, Dib circumvented the battle of the lunch lines and beelined for his and Gaz's table. His withdrawn sister was playing her GS 4 with the same intensity she had been for the last week. The model was new, and Dib had quickly learned not to disrupt her while she delved into the world of Vampire Piggy Slayer 5- he was _still_ finding hidden roadkill tucked away in his room even though it had been a full week since his infringement on her gaming nirvana.

Still, he couldn't just sit there and say nothing like a dork.

"Uh… how's the game goin', Gaz?"

Gaz didn't even spare him a glance, instead taking a quick second to give Dib the middle finger as she mashed buttons expertly.

Ok, then. Maybe he _could_ just sit at his table silently like a dork.

A brief look across the lunchroom revealed Zim to be painting a plump white chicken with the grayish cafeteria soup with a paintbrush, nodding to himself every so often and writing things down on a sheet of paper before resuming the paint job.

It was innocent enough, even for Zim.

_Too_ innocent. What was he planning!?

As though the alien could sense Dib's internal distress he paused in his activity and looked up, taunting the boy with a crooked grin and quick wave of a few fingers in a fake hello.

Dib glowered back, leaning his head in his hand as he ate his sandwich and continued to observe Zim. There was no use pointing it out- Zim had gotten so good and inventing the craziest lies over the years that if Dib claimed painting a chicken with cafeteria food was rather unusual, Zim would chalk it up to an ancient Ugandian tradition he was studying or some such thing. And, as they always had and likely always would, the students would roll their eyes and ignore the two odd social rejects of the skool and carry on with their lives, unaware of the alien threat that lurked among them.

And that was why it was _Dib's_ responsibility to stop Zim! It was his true purpose in life! His goal and his alone to expose the menace for the danger that he-!

"Dib. Shut up."

The surly voice came from Gaz, and Dib realized he'd been muttering out loud. Clamming up, he pouted and ducked his head between his shoulders a little to avoid Gaz's possible wrath. She seemed to have let it go however, and Dib polished off the rest of his meal with gusto. His appetite was growing along with his body, and he eagerly awaited the day he could look directly down at Zim because he KNEW it would infuriate the Irken to no end. He'd deduced Zim had something of a height complex a few years back, and the few inches he already had over the alien were enough to set the Irken's teeth grinding when they stood toe to toe and the difference was more apparent.

Ruminating idly on various thoughts and concerns that flickered through his mind in the same way any other human would, Dib waited out the rest of the lunch boredly with only speculations on what was for dinner and watching Zim to entertain himself.

The jolting cadence of the bell had the boy hauling himself off the round plastic cafeteria chair after an unacknowledged goodbye to his sister, and flowing with the crowd back to class. Bumping arms with Zim accidentally at one point in the quagmire of students, Dib received a hiss in retaliation. The Irken, however, seemed to interrupt himself mid-hiss as a thought clearly crossed his mind upon seeing his nemesis.

"Dib stink? How hard do you think your spine is, by chance?" Zim asked in false politeness, blinking inquisitively at the other.

Dib lowered an eyebrow uncertainly. "Pretty hard… wait, why!?" He interjected, waving his arms around expressively and narrowly avoiding smacking a random child in the face.

Zim chuckled darkly, sending tremors down Dib's spine. The last time he'd heard a laugh with that level of malice in it, he'd been turned into a giant baloney- surely whatever Zim had planned this time couldn't be worse than that? Reaching out a hand to grasp the alien by the arm and make him explain himself, Dib only swiped at empty air as his enemy melted away between the crush of bodies.

Cursing his luck, Dib resolved to deal with Zim personally after skool. It seemed yet another base infiltration was in order…

Passing the remainder of the day in an irritating loop of possibilities as to what Zim was up to, Dib was in the middle of rolling a pencil back and forth across his desk when the bell rang at last signaling release for the next two days. Scooping up his journal and bag, Dib hightailed it out the door before the majority of the class could squeeze through the small opening all at once.

Even with his own fast reflexes Zim was still unnaturally faster, having made it halfway down the hallway by the time Dib fought his way out of the classroom. Gripping the strap on his backpack, Dib frowned and stuffed his notebook into it and hefted the bag up higher on his shoulder. Resolutely following the alien off campus and en route to his house, Dib made every effort to remain undetected. A corner here, a bush there, a fat listless hobo on a curb at one point… cover was everywhere if one only knew where to look, and after tailing Zim like this for years Dib had gotten good at using his surroundings to his advantage.

But not quite good enough. Zim acted blissfully ignorant of the human tracking him home, but even under his wig he could pick up the scuffing of the Dib stalker's boots on the pavement and his quick tense breathing when he felt he'd had a close call in being detected. Smirking while still facing away from the Dib smell, Zim led his fly onward farther into his intricate web.

Today, things would change. Zim had been planning this for a while now, and was excited to implement it. What would Dib be like when all was complete? Already an above averagely intelligent human, if he had the physiology to match his intellect he would truly be a worthy rival for _ZIM!_

Worthy-_er_, Zim reminded himself. The human had been single handedly foiling his plans for years, but the mere fact that he was human was problematic. Humans _died_- already Dib had aged more over a few years than Irkens did over a few decades, and Zim had reluctantly realized Dib wouldn't always be around.

The realization had been a surprisingly cold and hollow one that blindsided Zim late one night while working in his labs, and it had caused him to idly think for hours.

Keeping the Dib monster alive was _important_. He didn't know how he had inevitably reached that conclusion in the slow quiet hours of that enlightening morning, but he had. And as a result, he was now leading Dib to something that would alter the way the human lived forever.

Stopping in front of his purple front door, Zim pretended to cast a suspicious glance over his shoulder before ducking inside. Deliberately leaving the door unlocked, he walked stiff-leggedly towards the concealed elevator that would take him downstairs and pulled off his disguise in relief.

Now all that was left to do was lie in wait like a spider biding its time while the fly buzzed ever-closer.

"_I could wait until night time… but man, I'd really be sitting here for a long time if I did."_ Dib thought logically, eyes peeking out through the bushes in Zim's neighbor's yard. _"Maybe, if I hopped the fence and stayed out of those stupid gnomes' lines of sight, I could slip around to the front door or try the windows."_ Conjecturing all the different ways to break into his enemy's base, Dib eventually shrugged and leapt over the small white picket fence. Nine times out of ten he successfully made it inside without a hitch, and he hoped today would be one of those lucky days.

Trying the door handle with a certainty that it wouldn't turn, Dib was pleased to find the knob slid to the side with the movement of his wrist and the door swing open to let him through. Quietly shutting it behind him so the house's proximity alarms wouldn't go off, Dib considered the best point of entry to take. Zim seemed to most often use the desk, toilet, and trashcan entrances to his lower base but Dib knew of the couch elevator as well. Walking over to it, he prodded around a little for a button or switch to reveal the secret platform before smacking himself in the forehead. Everything in this house was computerized and voice controlled, and Dib stepped back and cleared his throat.

"Uh… computer? Open couch… portal… thing." Dib almost hit himself again- that was the stupidest sounding attempt at an order ever!

"Ugh, fiiiine." A mechanical voice emanating from an indeterminable point groaned, and the couch slid aside to reveal the pink floating disk awaiting its passenger.

"_That shouldn't have worked… maybe Zim's technology is on the fritz today."_ Dib reasoned with himself, offhandedly wondering where Gir was. Usually the excitable little robot would have caught him by now and spent a few minutes hugging his leg, before blasting away somewhere with a "G' bye Mary!"

But all was ominously still within the base, and Dib stepped off the elevator warily when it reached the bottom with a ding. Keeping to the sides of the metal halls in the shadows and walking carefully to minimize the impact his boots made on the floor, he aimlessly skulked through the labyrinth in the hopes of coming across a room of some interest. A computer room would be good, or wherever Zim created or tested his designs for his idiotic plans would be a great find as well. Taking a left down a better lit hall, Dib was unaware of the Irken who watched computer monitors a few rooms over in anticipation and toyed with light settings to make a specific route more desirable to the dark-vision weak human. Guiding the Dib was proving to be easier than he'd thought.

Approaching an inconspicuous enough looking steel door, Dib pressed the button on the wall beside it. He'd have to open a door at some point- why not start with this seemingly unimportant one? The barrier slid open with a _"fshhh"_ of air, and Dib peeked his head in. The room was shrouded in darkness, but the sides were lined with tubes filled with glowing liquid. At the far end in the center a tube contained a squid in suspended animation, and Dib's curiosity took over as he put a wondering hand to his mouth and crept closer.

Zim watched the human approach his bait, hands wringing anxiously. Just a few more steps…

Dib stopped a safe distance from the glass, observing the motionless cephalopod. It was an average enough purple-ish squid, a few orange spots here and there giving it a pleasant coloration. Its tentacles splayed throughout the liquid were poised evenly, and the status panel below the tube showed the animal to be alive and healthy. Satisfied with the unimportant (but still kinda neat) discovery, Dib turned to leave the room in search of more relevant information to the Irken's plot.

A few rooms away, Zim frantically keyed a command into his computer.

A twitching motion caught Dib's eye at the last second, and the human jerked his attention back to the animal. Had it just _moved?_ Another slow twitch confirmed this, and Dib watched in amazement as slowly the squid opened its large brown glassy eyes and flailed its limbs a little, not seeming bothered by the fact it was "swimming" in who-knew-what sort of substance. Stepping closer and placing his hands delicately on the glass, Dib grinned as the creature blinked at him and stuck a tentacle of its own on the glass opposite the human.

Zim silently cheered. The unfailing characteristics of curiosity and inquiry Dib never ceased to display had worked like a charm in luring the human those last few steps. Slamming his fist down on a large red button triumphantly, he jumped out of his chair and darted through a few tunnels, skidding to a halt outside the same door Dib had gone through.

Only now, instead of quiet silence and a dim atmosphere, Dib was yelling obstinately and the lights had flickered up a few notches. Strolling through the door, Zim stopped and clasped his hands behind his back as Dib's eyes locked onto him and narrowed.

"You'd better let me go, Zim! I… people know I'm here! They'll come looking!" Dib frantically proclaimed, pulling against the restraints that held him suspended in the air. He'd been so caught off guard he hadn't even registered the need to scream until it was too late- restraints from the ceiling locked around his wrists, and an adjacent pair from the floor clasped shut around his ankles. The assembly had then extended up a few feet, leaving Dib splayed out midair like a frog pinned to a dissection board with his vulnerable middle exposed.

All in all, it was the worst form of capture he'd experienced by Zim yet. Most times it was a cage or a room- this crossed the unspoken line they both silently adhered to on a day to day basis while fighting.

Zim moved an antenna up and down briefly, but otherwise gave no reaction. "Oh, I'll have you home soon enough. However…" He trailed off, an unreadable expression settling over his features.

Dib gulped. "However…?" He picked up the sentence carefully, letting the end of the word slide off questioningly.

"However, I have a few things to attend to. Things that involve you, more accurately." Zim clarified, unclasping his hands from behind him as he began typing something in on a pedestal-like keyboard that rose up from a hole in the floor. Intent red stare diverted from Dib to the miniature keyboard, the human took the opportunity to frantically look around the room, at his restraints, everywhere.

Had Zim finally decided to overstep that boundary between them and do away with Dib once and for all? Had he grown tired of the games the two of them played and, in seeking to more efficiently destroy the Earth, realized eradicating Dib was a necessary mean to an end? Panicking, Dib felt the adrenaline running through his system and strained against the metal restraints for all he was worth. He couldn't die like this right now! He still had to catch Bigfoot!

"Human… remember when I asked you how hard your spine was?" Zim's calm voice served only to heighten Dib's alarm, and the Irken continued on despite only the sound of Dib's rapid breathing filling the room. "I think you may want to try not to bite your tongue while this is going on."

Dib's hands were released just long enough for his trench coat and shirt to be stripped off him by a pair of metal hands reaching down through the ceiling before the restraints recaptured him.

Dib froze as the cold air of the base settled over his body. While _what _was going on? Why would he need to worry about-

"_Bzzzzzrrr!"_

The blinding, burning pain stole the breath from his lungs and made him try to instinctively curl in on himself. It felt like someone was stabbing him in the back in two distinct places, burrowing the knife ever-deeper as Dib cried out in agony. He was only distantly aware of a mechanical drilling sort of noise and a cracking sound that he instinctively knew was his spine. An electrical shock lanced through his every nerve ending, and he only just bit back the scream that fought to burst out as he felt a crawling, tendril-y feeling snake up and down his spine from the _inside_. What… what was Zim doing to him!?

As quickly as it had begun, all noise ceased and the pain stopped increasing. A throbbing ache pulsed through him with every heartbeat, and Dib flickered in and out of consciousness as he barely registered a cold metal feeling against his back and a few extra pounds dragging on his spine.

He saw Zim stride up out of his periphery, and if he wasn't so drunk on pain he could have sworn the alien seemed regretful of the situation. As though listening underwater, Dib heard only snatches of what the Irken was saying.

"…_-omputer…Integration status repor…" "Good. Load him…Voot crui…"_

Another quick twinge of pain was felt in Dib's arm that he dully recognized as an injection, and the world swam away into darkness with only a short quietly spoken phrase by Zim to see him off:

"_Welcome to life, Irken hybrid Dib."_

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Please review, guys! I'm really excited about this story, and I want to know how I did on the first chapter. Even a "YAY!" or something makes me smile. Share your thoughts, I'd really love to hear them! Us authors enjoy nothing more than seeing people chime in and say stuff about our stories, so let me know what ya' think! :D


	2. I'm gonna kill you, Zim!

"_Today's weather will be partly cloudy with a 75% chance of rain. Take out those umbrellas folks, because you might get caught in a storm when you least expect it!"_

Dib cracked open an eyelid, feeling like the sun was driving daggers into his skull. Why was it so damn bright?

Oh, yeah. Today was a Saturday.

"_In other news, Michael Jackson has died! The famous pop star was found… wait, what? What do you mean that happened a long time ago!?...Uh… ahem. There is a crash on highway 29 blocking two lanes of traffic. Drivers are advised to take route 40 around the scene of the accident to minimize travel time…"_

Dib groaned. He felt like shit. Why did he feel so crummy? Rolling over, he burrowed his head farther into his pillow. Just a few more years… then he'd get up…

"_A robbery earlier today at a convenience store was thwarted by an unusually heroic small green dog. The unlikely savior, when asked what his feelings were on the attack, merely slurped his suck monkey contemplatively. Such deepness!"_

What was that infernal racket? Why did Gaz have the morning news turned up so unreasonably high? Grumbling, Dib sat up creakily and groaned. Had he been wrestling mountain lions in his sleep or something? He shouldn't be this sore. Brushing it off, he wearily slumped out of bed and unsteadily headed for the door to yell over the balcony to tell Gaz to turn the television down.

"_Also in recent news, President Man has enacted a new law that would strive to preserve wild emus in their natural environments. The bill, after going through a rigorous reviewal by the house and senate, was signed into law just yesterday at 5 pm, initiating the recovery act for those giant majestic avians."_

"Gaz! Would you turn that down already!?" Dib barked over the edge of the stairs, but the instant his voice came out he winced. He sounded loud even to his own ears.

"Turn what down, Dib? The tv? It's only on 12!" Gaz's irritated voice floated up from the kitchen, and Dib scrunched his forehead in confusion.

Volume 12 WAS really quiet… so why did it sound like the news reporter's mission was to invade Dib's ears until he could hear nothing but him? However, now that he thought about it, a cacophony of other noises were assaulting him. The A/C unit seemed unusually loud, the neighbor's lawnmower growled like a caged animal, a squirrel foraging for nuts in the tree outside the window reminded Dib of feet tromping through crisp leaves, and the conversation he could catch snippets of he was hearing from…

From across the street?

No. No, that couldn't be possible. He had to be imagining things, that was all. Trying to tune everything out, he stomped down the stairs and yawned expansively, noting that his tongue and teeth felt weird and seemed to set in a different way than they always had. And that crack in the wall across the living room by the ceiling… had that always been there? And how had he even seen that in the first place? He was usually blind without his glasses on…

Without…his…

Dib's train of thought came to a crashing, screeching, fiery halt when he entered the kitchen and heard a _"click" "click" "click"_ accompanying his footfalls. Gaz was at the counter by the fridge waiting for her bread to pop out of the toaster, and simultaneously Dib screamed and her eyes widened as she took a step back.

"Uh… Dib? You look a little… like Zim." Gaz managed, eyes taking in her brother's appearance critically as she watched him staring in horror at his own three-fingered hands.

_Three_ fingers. And green! A pale green a few shades lighter than Zim, but green nonetheless. Vision focusing past his outstretched hands and down to his feet, Dib stifled another scream as he observed two curved, pointy toes on each foot. Slowly bringing his hands up, Dib's breathing accelerated as he felt his own usual hair rumpled from sleep. At least that was still there… but… what were…

Touching the antennae sprouting from the top of his head was an odd sensation unlike any other. It warmed him a little, slowing his pulse against his will and making foreign muscles unclench. They were slender and smooth, the texture and pliability reminding him of an electrical cable without the friction-y feeling of rubber. They were neither squishy nor rigid, but a good medium inbetween that allowed them to bend if needed but remain erect and straight without effort.

Gaz, silently watching what she could only assume was her brother exploring his own unusual features, wondered how he hadn't noticed the difference himself immediately. But then, Dib never had been much of a morning person. In the half hour after he awoke, his intellect was mediocre at best as he slouched around until the night's energy gained from sleep caught up with him.

"You should probably go into the bathroom." She advised cautiously, not missing the antennae's twitch the moment she began speaking.

"Y-yeah…" Dib agreed, backpedaling out of the kitchen and still seeming unnerved by the sound of his own feet striking the hard floor.

Gaz shook her head. Zim had played this one well, and it was ironic that a plan having little to do with actual world conquest would succeed where all his others failed. In this scenario though, Zim's one stroke of luck had ended rather unfortunately for her brother. Shrugging and snatching the toast out of the air as it launched itself up from the toaster, Gaz sat at the table and began buttering the crunchy slice. Dib would just have to learn to deal with being an Irken, if it was unfixable.

Entering the bathroom, Dib flipped the light switch and felt sick to his stomach at what he saw.

That wasn't him looking back in the mirror. It was an Irken, large round amber eyes alert and shining and antennae standing up in surprise. His hair, thank goodness, hadn't fallen out- but aside from it and his eyes, the rest of him was unmistakably like Zim. The churning sensation of discomfort in his abdomen made Dib feel even worse- he could no longer say he felt sick to his stomach because he no longer **had** a stomach, most likely.

And if his internal organs were changed, what about his external… _"No."_ Banishing the thought before it could develop further, Dib bared his teeth in a wide flat smile and opened his mouth to look inside in morbid interest. He'd go nowhere near his unmentionables until he'd beaten the living shit out of Zim for this.

Oh, how Zim would pay.

Thunderclouds of anger rolling through his mind, Dib turned around and fixed his now sharp eyes on the round bump protruding from under his nightshirt. Furiously tugging it off, Dib glared at the silvery metal Pak with blue spots, memories rushing back like a tidal wave. The blinding pain, the awful bone-crunching sound of his spine being bored into, Zim's somberly neutral voce, the freaking _pain_…

The skin around the Pak exhibited a dull darker green color- bruising, no doubt. A red rusty crust of dried blood mixed with a fresher clear pinkish substance led Dib to determine he'd changed rapidly overnight. His human blood had been replaced with Irken blood, and the transition from when the wounds under the Pak had stopped bleeding red and begun to leak this pinkish stuff was apparent. Touching the Pak once gingerly, Dib flinched. His entire back felt sore to the touch, and tapping the metal dome had sent little jolts of pain through his spine; the nerves and bone must still be raw from the procedure.

Staring at his featureless smooth green chest in the mirror, Dib snarled and almost turned the sound into a yelp when the growl was produced with a much louder and fuller intensity than a human could hope to make.

Clenching his fists at his sides, Dib felt the unnatural points of his new claws poking into the padding of his palms as he stormed out of the bathroom and took the stairs two at a time, not feeling fatigued in the least as he swiftly scaled them. Entering his room and looking around, all seemed to be in order aside from a small bloodstain in his bed- leaked from under (Dib shuddered to admit it) _his_ Pak where it had been anchored through his back. With red hazing his vision Dib tore through his dresser drawers angrily in the search of a pair of clothes, pulling on a solid blue shirt and pair of black jeans without looking at his lower half until he had to button the pants.

Feeling uncharacteristically naked still, Dib spied his trench coat slung over his computer chair and snatched it up. Zim might have been decent enough to return it along with the rest of what he'd been wearing the other day folded on the floor, but Dib yanked his arms through the coat all the same and almost smacked into Gaz when he turned to dart out of his room.

"You're going to go pummel Zim now, aren't you?" She asked simply, a slightly raised eyebrow being the only indication she was even mildly interested in her brother's tumultuous new situation.

"Yeah. I'm going to rip out his squeedlyspooch and force him to fix me, or otherwise I'll haul us both off to the authorities." Dib hissed, light from the sun reflecting off his large round amber eyes making them seem molten with rage.

"You're going out like _that?_" Gaz pointed out flatly, gesturing to his eyes and antennae.

Dib unconsciously brought a hand up to hold them against his skull, feeling oddly uncomfortable with his sister's knowledge of his change. Were those just newly engineered Irken instincts of self-preservation interfering with his judgment? Either way, Dib put his hand back in his pocket and kept the stalks pinned down despite the slight conscious effort it took, giving Gaz what he hoped was a questioning look- expressions felt odd to make without a nose or eyebrows.

Taking in a breath and considering the flow of the air for a minute, Dib brushed a hand along the space where a nose should be. Instead there was an unusual sort of membrane, completely indistinguishable from the surrounding skin but there all the same. Air could pass through, but large particles and debris were kept out. Also, the lack of a protrusion meant the already giant Irken eyes could have a more complete field of view.

Grudgingly, Dib had to admit it was a smart evolutionary adaptation.

"I can hold them down, for the most part. And I'll just squint the whole way there and try not to look at anybody. If I'm not back in an hour…" Dib trailed off weakly, noting Gaz's annoyed expression. "W-well, I don't expect you to come looking for me or anything, but you can probably assume I'm captured or dead at least." He finished lamely, grabbing some socks and brushing past his sister and heading for his boots by the door, their location also Zim's doing- the alien couldn't have known Dib kept his boots in his closet under the UFO poster, so he'd logically placed them in the next best spot.

Yanking them on and muttering obscenities to himself, Dib ceased his chatter when he realized he'd begun to say phrases in another language without knowing it. The meanings and translations were clear in his mind, yet he had no idea how he'd obtained the knowledge. Casting a mistrustful glance over his shoulder at the lump beneath his coat that was the Pak, Dib felt the chaos in his mind grow. If this thing was already funneling knowledge into his head, what else could it be doing to him?

"Don't kill him."

Dib switched his glare from the Pak to Gaz, trying to make sense of her statement.

"Why not? Can't you _see_ what he _did_ to me!? I don't even know if this can be reversed!" Dib exclaimed indignantly, pushing himself up from the floor and pausing at the front door with his hand on the knob.

"Because, you dimwit- you might need him. Or do you want to live not knowing about yourself for the rest of your life, however long that may be now?" Gaz reasoned, crossing her arms at her brother's bold tone.

"I…" Dib scrunched his eyes in confusion, searching about for a rebuttal but coming up empty handed. His sister was right- but he was still going to make Zim _wish_ he had killed him.

Storming out the front door without an answer for his sister, he only grunted over his shoulder when Gaz called from the porch "They're sticking right up, Dib."

Consciously flattening them down again, Dib fought the urge to let the antennae rise up instinctively as waves of anger rolled through him. He'd always had a good idea of what Zim's antennae positions meant the Irken was feeling, but now he had solid proof of one- antennae pitched up meant anger, and the farther forward they were tilted the more furious the Irken was.

Stomping along the sidewalk and keeping his eyes slitted and pointing down, Dib's head buzzed disorientingly with all the sounds rebounding around him. The barking of a far off dog sounded perilously close, and conversations from inside houses were muffled but still intelligible. Birds tweeted louder than it seemed they ever had, cars sounded like jet planes zooming by, and the humming of insects was an unending drone. Scents of freshly cut grass wafted by, mixing with gag-inducing trails of exhaust from the road.

Crossing a street with Zim's house only a block away now, Dib sniffed the air. A woman coated in perfume had stood here waiting for the bus approximately three hours ago, and the perfume was a heady mixture of lilac and gardenia. But why did he _know_ that!?

Wanting to tear his new antennae out in frustration, Dib felt his mind fracturing under stress. The noise, the light, the smells, the unbalanced feel from walking with only two toes and having too much foot room in his boots… all of the unfamiliarity and sensual overload compounded exponentially to the point where Dib felt a panicked yell building up in his breast.

Only the sight of Zim's purple men's room door as though through tunnel vision kept Dib from breaking down like a lunatic in the middle of the cul-de-sac. Marching up to it, the gnomes remained placidly inactive as he pounded on the door as hard as possible. Waiting, from within he heard a short conversation take place.

"Master, it's Dib."

"Eh? Here already? The sedatives shouldn't have worn off _that_ quickly… Gir, go down to the lab. I don't want you here for this."

"B-but… I love Mary! I wanna hug him!"

"…"

"…Okaaay…."

The sound of the television's garble being clicked off was picked up by Dib, and the flushing of the toilet from deeper within signaled Gir's descent into the base. The door swung open slowly just as Dib brought a green fist up to bash at it again, and he locked eyes with Zim's red ones at last.

Standing in the center of the room, the Irken's expression was an amalgamation of different warring emotions- relief, triumph, wariness, regret, interest, elation, and a touch of fear as Dib's antennae shot forward and he bared his teeth with a rippling snarl.

Zim opened his mouth to say something, but Dib would have none of it. He had come here to maul Zim and, _**if**_ the Irken survived, possibly return again later when his head had cooled. Launching himself across the room at his nemesis and sparing only a second to be surprised at the speed with which he'd closed the distance, Dib tackled his enemy and began punching and kicking anything he could reach, pushing aside the wave of nausea and pain lancing through his spine and body in favor of pounding Zim to a little green pulp.

Zim, for his part, managed only to meep before Dib charged and braced himself, falling in a hunched inward manner that would take the blunt of the impact off his Pak. Hitting the ground, Zim brought his arms up and blocked every punch Dib threw at him and scrabbled out of the way of some of his kicks, oof-ing at a particularly lucky kick to his side. Dib might have had increased strength and stamina now and had pure undiluted rage fueling his desire to maim, but Zim had decades of combat training and fighting tactics under his belt. Sliding out from under the human-turned-mostly-Irken, Zim flipped Dib over and pressed a knee against his chest, causing the other's new Pak to grind against the tiled floor.

Dib gasped in pain, focus instantly changing from trying to destroy Zim to trying to keep the weight off his back. An inferno of pain was raging up and down his spine, and he swore he could feel the moving of the cords connecting the machine to his spine as he shifted in agony.

Zim glared down at Dib, easing up on the pressure at the hybrid's grimace. As good a method as it was to subdue Dib, it simply wouldn't do to have his spine fracture from any extra stress it was placed under before it had healed. Keeping his knee in place however, Zim waited until Dib's thoughts had cleared enough to allow the hybrid to lock infuriated amber eyes with Zim's calm red ones.

"If you refrain from attacking me I'd be happy to answer any questions you may have, dirt child." Zim stated, antennae held back in a relaxed manner to show a lack of hostility.

Dib seemed to interpret the gesture unconsciously because his own antennae fell back a few inches, but he still kept them raised aggressively as he snarled once more.

"Fine." He spat, wrath flickering behind amber orbs. "But you'd better have some good fucking answers, or I'll-"

"_Or_ you'll be forced to the ground like this again, and next time I won't be so easy." Zim cut in, eyes narrowing as he waited for Dib's agreement.

Dib drew in a deep breath, wincing as his Pak pressed against the floor with the motion. Forcing his antennae down, Dib glowered sullenly as Zim nodded, satisfied, and let him up.

The two stood at a silent standoff, each waiting for the impending question.

"Why?" Dib finally whispered, reaching a hand up to touch an antenna absentmindedly.

Zim's eyes followed the movement and he seemed to consider the question deeply as he slowly answered, picking his words carefully.

"I knew you would die someday. Not soon, of course, but it would inevitably happen sooner or later. I began thinking about what things would be like without you to constantly pit myself against. In short, I believe things would be rather boring indeed." Zim inspected the material of his glove almost self-consciously, doing his best to keep the conversation mature and leave out the usual insults he employed when speaking to Dib. "Taking over Earth would be pathetically easy." He explained, antennae rising when Dib bristled at the incomplete explanation.

"So you changed me into the very thing I hate just to keep me around to fight with at your leisure? That's fucked up on SO many levels!" Dib yelled, fists clenching and opening with the desire to throttle the alien.

Zim quickly backpedaled, waving his hands in denial. "No, no. That no longer matters. In fact, it was only a passing consideration." He admitted, restraining himself from responding to the open display of hostility he was receiving from Dib knowing that an aggressive response would trigger instinctual retaliation. "But once the idea was planted, it haunted me like one of those stuuuuupid ghosts you always blabber about. Ultimately reasons why failed to matter, and I found myself more and more accepting of the idea. Perhaps it was due to the machinations of my defective Pak- I don't know." Zim finished, shrugging noncommittally. "But it's done now, and it's irreversible. So before you pounce on me again I suggest you consider that I'm the only one who can help you with this… even though you're still smelly."

What? Zim just couldn't leave well enough alone without one _tiny_ insult.

Dib grit his teeth, unusual-feeling tongue swiping along the insides of them idly while he thought. So it was permanent. It felt as though a black hole had opened up beneath his feet, and he was plummeting through it at breakneck speeds. He was part Irken now. _Forever_. Turned into the very rival he'd fought for so many years, it was a tragically ironic fate befitting of an unlucky, persecuted, unsung hero. He couldn't handle this. He just couldn't process…

The ground rushed up to meet him as black swept over his consciousness like a raven's wing.

* * *

The fool. Collapsing in his enemy's base while still slightly wounded, and all because he'd learned his body had been switched around a bit.

Surely it wasn't so terrible, was it? The pros of being an Irken _far_ outweighed the cons of being a human. Zim had even gone to the extensive trouble of keeping Dib's base DNA structure similar enough so he could remain tolerant to water, sleep, eat human foods, and keep his hair and eye color! He should be grateful, if anything.

Observing the still pile of clothes on the floor, Zim heaved a sigh and looked up at the ceiling. His great idea had become less about personal revenge and more about personal loss in the grand scheme of things. For although transforming Dib into a partial Irken was a delicious bit of cruel irony, Zim had kept to himself the revelation that once Dib died, he'd have nothing and nobody aside from Gir. No mission, no aim in life, no living being to hold an intelligent conversation with…

Perhaps it had been rather selfish of him to assume Dib would get over something like this. From what he'd seen of humans, they didn't take well to things being done without their consent and this had been a major breech of that standard. Dib would need time. Time, knowledge, and training. Two of which only Zim could provide, and almost eagerly looked forward to. How would Dib fare in combat training? Would he make a good scientist? Perhaps he would excel in piloting?

Zim shook his head. Dib wasn't his science experiment, as much as he'd prefer to think of him that way. He was a living being, and deserving of more respect than that due to the Irken blood coursing through his veins now.

Again Zim corrected himself. His level of respect for the Dib hadn't changed with the procedure, as much as it needled him to admit he'd _ever_ held an iota of respect for a filthy human in the first place. This entire situation was unprecedented and delicate, and Zim hoped he could at the very least help Dib cope with his new body- the fearless protector of Earth deserved that small courtesy from him, if nothing else.

A shifting of the pile had Zim languidly blinking as Dib sat up woozily, looking-quite frankly- like shit.

"What…?"

"You fainted, like the weak little fairy you are. Get up. We've much to go over, and I want to mention the important things while they're still at the front of my amazing Zim mind."

Hm. Not quite as tactful as he'd anticipated, but Dib dragged himself up nonetheless and listlessly plodded over to follow Zim down into the lower labs. The light in his eyes seemed to have dimmed, and Zim found himself worrying over this development as the elevator descended in silence. The Dib monkey had always had the fire of determination in his countenance, but now it seemed as though someone had mercilessly smothered the flame leaving only a hunched and broken creature in its aftermath.

But the Dib would come around. He always had, and Zim believed he would continue to do so. Even now a small spark of interest flickered in the large amber depths of Dib's eyes as he observed Zim's base without the need to hide or worry for his life as he usually did when busting in.

Stiffly marching through corridors until the two were funneled into the main computer room, Zim began pulling up simulations and diagrams on basic Irken biology and smirked to himself when he heard Dib's choked back yipe as two chairs popped up from the floor.

"I'm sure you're wondering about the functions and abilities of your new form." Zim began, flipping through simulations until he reached one concerning Irken eyes. "First and foremost are your vision and hearing improvements. Irken eyes have a large field of vision due to their shape and spacing, and our ability to pick out details from afar and see in the dark is _clearly_ superior to that of a human's."

A diagram popped up showing a bisection of an Irken eye, layers and features defined and labeled in Irken text which Dib found he had no trouble reading.

"Why can I read that?" Dib asked, squinting at the text suspiciously.

Zim's antennae flicked briefly as though berating himself for not pointing the event out. "Your Pak has a translator built in. You'll be a little rusty with Irkinian when speaking or hearing it, but you'll catch on."

"Oh. Ok. What about these?" Dib asked, reaching up and rubbing an antenna exploratively.

"Mmn." Zim mumbled, switching the eye diagram to one of an antenna labeled and defined in much the same manner. "Antennae are for hearing and feeling vibrations, among other… eh, things." Zim glossed over, seeming to fumble at the "other things" part. Dib let it go however, and fell into a rapt silence as an hour ticked by and Zim covered everything from intestines to skeletal structure.

But one obvious category was absent. "Zim? What about… you know."

The Irken made an expression of discomfort, keeping his eyes trained on the screen. "We do not reproduce naturally, nor do we have any organs to do so. They may be naturally created by the body through a specific hormone injection, but this is never done for obvious reasons." Zim hedged around the question slightly, checking the time; 2:48 pm. How time did fly when you were teaching a new Irken hybrid about themselves.

"Ok, well what are those organs like when that _is_ done?" Dib prodded, perversely enjoying his foe's squeamishness.

Zim stood up and turned away from Dib, making to march to the opposite end of the room and out. "_WELLLL_, I'm going to tell the computer to play a little video for you while I use this time to conveniently take my leave." Dib held back a chuckle. Who'd have known this topic would be the only thing the almighty Zim would ever consider running from? "Afterwards, you will leave this base and head home. I advise sleeping- your disgusting human half is still adjusting to your more advanced new Irken changes."

"Hey! Who said I have to listen to you?" Dib immediately retaliated, lifting his chin defiantly.

"Me. If you don't want to accidentally stab yourself when using your spider legs for the first time, anyway." Zim tossed haughtily over his shoulder, pinning Dib with a glare. "And if you so much as snoop around down here even a little before leaving, I'll dig out your brain with a rusty spoon and paint a mural with it."

Dib watched Zim leave, slightly impressed. That was the most creative insult he'd come up with in years- usually it was "smell monkey" or "flesh bag" or "filth worm" or any combination thereof.

The video began to play, and Dib turned around in his seat to watch it. Hopefully it wouldn't be _too_ repulsive…

* * *

A little weirded out as he walked the sidewalks home, Dib decided Irkens weren't _that _different from humans in terms of reproduction- but that didn't make it any less creepy.

Dib tried to push away the ringing in his skull from the noises of the outside world as he hurried home. Zim had off-handedly mentioned he would gradually adjust to the loudness of things and after a short while learn to tune out unimportant noises, and Dib was glad for it. He felt he'd go insane if he had to eternally listen to the news man every morning for the rest of his life.

He was now faced with a choice. Zim had not so eloquently put it to him that if he wished for further training or instruction, he would return to the base again the next day- but man did it burn Dib to admit he needed guidance from the one being he'd fought with for years. He could just ignore the offer and try to figure things out on his own, but Zim had a point- he'd never be able to learn everything solely by trial and error.

Perhaps, _after_ Zim had helped him, he could destroy the Irken.

Tromping into his house with a yawn, he noticed Gaz cast a look over at him and blink uninterestedly.

"I see you're still Irken. Is Zim a bloody mess?"

Dib heaved a sigh and flumped onto the couch beside her, only half paying attention to the TV show featuring a cow being eaten by leeches that was on.

"Part Irken, actually. Not like that makes it any better, but at least I won't go bald." Dib commented while touching his hair, disheartened. "And I gave him a few good kicks to remember me by. I'll bet his side will be a nice dark green color for at least a week." He added, moving from touching his hair to an antenna. The relaxing feeling spread through him again, and he sighed with a half-lidded tired expression.

"You look like ass."

Dib curled a lip at her accurate insight. "Real cute, Gaz. Thanks."

Gaz grunted and shrugged uncaringly. Knowing he'd get no more out of her as she engrossed herself in watching the unfortunate cow, he hopped off the couch and plodded upstairs. Pausing at the mirror in the opposite hall Dib again felt the foreign feeling of being lost sweep over him, and he brought up a hand to click against the glass. That light green color. Would he ever get used to it? And only having three fingers- while they were very bendable and manipulative, it still felt strange. Taking his attention from the sharply pointed digits and redirecting it to the mirror, Dib searched his own amber eyes.

He was still in there. His body might have been messed with without his consent, but he himself hadn't gone anywhere. Irken eyes were neat to look at though, he realized; a painting of various shades of yellows and golds and light browns all mixed together, the reflecting light giving them a depth and shine his human irises had only ever slightly captured whenever he removed his glasses.

Giving his changed visage a last conflicting once-over, Dib trotted to his room and switched his outfit for a pair of cozy pajamas. Drawing his blinds and curtain shut tightly, he waited in wonder for the room to be plunged into darkness.

Which it inevitably was, but his new eyes' night vision quickly took over, turning the dark interior into a less shadowy place and able to be seen almost as well as if it were still lit. Stripping the slightly bloodied top sheet off his bed, Dib gave in to the debilitating exhaustion as he plunked himself down on the mattress cover. Tugging the blanket up over him and pressing his face against the cool pillow, Dib gave an antenna a brief stroke.

"_Maybe… being part Irken won't be so terrible after all…"_

* * *

Yaaay, ch.2 is done peeps. I liked all the response I got on the first chapter, keep it coming! I love hearing from you guys! And thanks and hellos also go out to my repeat reviewers who I know from my other stories- its great to see you guys again :D

~R&R please~


	3. Differing Opinions

A/n: Sorry this took so long. But having an upper level English class in college means essays, and essays mean crying and blubbering in the dark late at night while sobbing into a doughnut to assuage my sadness...Ok, maybe not _that_- but it does mean I don't have much time for leisure writing :/ But don't worry- while updates may be a bit slow, the story **will** be seen through to the end. All my stories are. Enjoy~

* * *

Dib awoke some amount of hours later to his room in an even darker state than he had left it. No longer did sunlight shine through the draperies- instead the moon glowed solemnly in the night sky as Dib pulled his curtains aside and rubbed his eyes sleepily while brushing a hand through his hair.

Yep. Still part Irken.

Sitting back on his haunches and watching the night sky with better vision than he'd ever had the luxury of enjoying before, Dib contemplated his lot in life. Was he simply destined to fail to stop Zim? And, was Zim in turn destined never to succeed at taking over the Earth regardless of whether Dib did anything about it or not? They were both natural failures and outcasts, not quite so different as one might assume.

Watching the stars Dib considered that, even though he had seen for himself what was beyond the hazy atmosphere of Earth during his crazy space battle with Zim, it was still an amazing sight. Out there somewhere in the inky blackness was Irk, and Vort, and the Meekrob home planet, and whatever other alien species Zim hadn't mentioned. The cosmos was incredible, and never ceased to fill him with a sense of being small. The stars were scattered across the velvet of the night sky and glowed invitingly, and Dib stretched as he debated with himself.

It was around two in the morning, but he wasn't as bone-tired as he had been when he'd flopped into bed hours ago. His back felt loads better, and he chalked it up to the creepy healing abilities of whatever the hell was inside his Pak. Rolling off the bed and changing into regular clothes, Dib lazily dropped his pajamas in the same heap as his sheet; he'd deal with the mess later.

Slipping quietly out of his room and softly shutting the door behind him, Dib padded downstairs. Taking care not to let his claws get hooked in the carpet as he walked, the glow from the main room surprised him. Gaz…? But it was two in the morning!

"You… you're still awake?"

Gaz shifted a shoulder without sparing Dib a glance as he passed behind the couch. "There's a cow eating marathon going on. Of _course_ I'm awake."

Dib rolled his eyes as he continued on past her, ignoring his boots and only pausing with the door open a crack as he left. "I'm going out."

Gaz did glance over at this, an eyebrow delicately rising. "Don't get mugged or shot or whatever."

This time Dib only grunted in response, shutting the front door with a thunk. Stepping out into the crisp night air, he strolled along the streets in the general direction of the park with only the rhythmic tapping of his clawed feet to accompany him. The top of the playground there was nearer to the stars, and the woods surrounding it would prevent as much light pollution from interfering with stargazing. Passing a household that had a screaming baby within, Dib determined he liked night much better than daytime- he could see perfectly fine, and the decrease in ambient noise gave his poor antennae a much needed break. Nobody was around, so the hybrid cautiously allowed the stalks to settle into a natural position and opened his eyes fully.

His race _was_ stupid. He had come to terms with this ages ago, but never once did he consider that it would work to his benefit. Rounding a corner and flipping the latch on the park's gated entrance, Dib let it sway open behind him as he crossed the wood-chipped ground and began to scale the play structure. The roof of one of the towers was flat enough to lie on and at the perfect angle to look at the sky, and Dib found the ascent to be pathetically easy. The pads of his hands gripped the cold metal and his claws left scores in the plastic (oops) as he scrambled lithely to the top. Sighing out slowly and settling against the plastic, Dib propped his bare feet over the lip of the roof and let his toes hang over the edge.

It had been a long time since he'd had the leisure of relaxing and just watching the night sky. He used to do it with his mom before she'd died, and he'd religiously kept up the tradition long after she'd passed. The only thing to ever succeed in interfering with the sacrosanct routine was the arrival of Zim, and even then Dib spared a night here and there to devote to the universe far above him. He'd never break the habit, nor did he want to- it gave him a gentle sense of solace after a long and difficult day, and he'd never tire of stargazing anyway.

Antennae flicking against his will, Dib slid his eyes down at the sound of woodchips shuffling under shoes. Two teenagers not much older than himself walked through the gate he'd left open and leaned against the playset, their conversation clearly audible to the hybrid but not interesting in the slightest. One reached into his pocket and withdrew a wrapped object, and the other flicked the flint of a lighter to get a flame going and light it. Dib curled his lip in disgust as he tore his eyes from them and resumed watching the stars. They hadn't noticed him up here, and if he kept still and quiet, they probably never would. He wouldn't let two druggies ruin the only time he ever felt connected to his mother if he had any say in the matter.

A thin trail of smoke snaked its way up into the sky, and Dib internally cursed as an ill-timed breeze wafted a cloud of it into his face. Ugh. That was definitely _not_ cigarette smoke. But again, Dib wouldn't have cared if only he could have kept to himself until they left.

But, with watery eyes, Dib waved the cloud away and couldn't hold back a cough into his sleeve. Immediately gaining the attention of the two at the bottom of his perch, the taller one hid the joint behind his back and craned his neck up, the other scanning the surrounding area before also taking a few steps back and looking up.

"What are you doin' here, kid?" The short one demanded tensely, standing on the ends of his feet to try to get a better look at Dib.

Groaning to himself, Dib waved a hand vaguely in the air so he didn't have to make eye contact or allow his head to be seen. "Watching the stars. The park is for everyone, you know."

Hearing only silence, Dib assumed they'd chosen to ignore his presence and resume their illegal activity. However, a slight rattling vibration from under him told him otherwise as one of the boys climbed a few steps of the tower and stopped, as though considering something.

"Well, you need to leave. We're, uh, kinda _busy_ at the moment."

Dib frowned at that. He wasn't bothering them, and he wasn't tired yet- going back home would be a boring waste. "I really don't care what you're doing. Just don't bug me." He offered, crossing his arms languidly over his stomach as he attempted to ignore the two and return to his small world of peace they had shattered simply by showing up and addressing him.

"Don't bug you? You're bugging us, you twerp! Go find a roof or a tree or another park to skulk in." The short irritable one still on the ground said, and Dib's eyes narrowed. Leaning part of his head over the edge, he allowed his golden Irken eyes to roam over the two and steadily unnerve them as time ticked by.

"I was here first. Leave me alone, potheads." Dib obstinately informed them, flipping back over and counting down.

3…2…1…

"P-potheads!? I mean, yeah you're right, but still!" The one on the steps exploded, taking a few threatening paces higher. "Come down now and leave or we'll drag you out. This is the only place the cops never look, and we can't just go somewhere else. _You_ can."

Dib grumbled to himself in annoyance. "Too bad I won't." He retorted, pulling his feet up from the ledge to make it harder for his two new assailants to reach him as he dropped the bomb that he knew would set them off.

In all honestly, their attempt was more or less hilarious. The two of them trying to cram themselves up the stairwell of a children's playset at once made for an amusing sight, and Dib allowed his head to continue to hang over the ledge and observe them until they got too close for comfort.

"What's up with your eyes, freaky kid? And why are you the color of two day old pea soup? Huh? Huh?"

Dib bit back a laugh. What the hell kind of stoner comparison was that supposed to be?

"Roy, get down. I'm gonna climb up there and shove the kid off." Dib heard the whispered order, and a shuffling of fabric indicated the other had complied. A little worried now, Dib wondered if, in retrospect, irritating two high-strung teenagers in the middle of the night alone on a playground near the woods was such a good idea.

Scrabbling back out of arms reach, Dib only remembered to lower his antennae at the last possible moment and squint before the still unknown boy's head popped up over the side of the plastic roof. Dib cast a glance at the ground- that was twelve, maybe thirteen feet down. A fall like that wouldn't kill him, but it would hurt like a bitch.

"I almost got him! A little higher, bro!" Dib's breathing picked up as the extra few feet gave the teen ample room to reach him, and when a hand was fisted in his shirt Dib's reaction was purely instinctual.

Clawing and biting at the offending arm, the howl of pain that echoed through the quiet night was like a victory call to Dib's pitched-forward antennae. Only dimly registering the bang his head received when the two-man tower toppled and all three collapsed, Dib raked his claws down the kid's arm. _"That was for messing up my night!"_ Dib thought angrily as he felt himself being carried down the steps like a raging cat throwing a fit. Why did this shit _always_ happen to him!? And in the stupidest, most unassuming of circumstances to boot!

Lashing out with a foot and leaving two parallel scores through the kid's jeans and drawing a little blood, Dib savored the yelp of pain. _"And that was because I was already in a bad mood and you morons decided to fuck with me!"_ Pulling his trump card when his shirt still wasn't released, Dib chomped down on the kid's forearm.

Ick. The blood was like an iron-y, salty penny, but Dib only bit harder as he felt a second pair of arms attempt to remove him from behind.

"Get it off, man! Get it off! This kid has some wicked sharp nails and teeth!" The now rather scuffed-up teen pleaded with his friend as Dib resolutely refused to unlock his jaws. How could these fools still have not realized he wasn't human?

"What are these?"

Dib's eyes widened at the question as he felt the world spinning with the gravity of his situation. Zim's words from the day before streamed through his mind in a panicked rush; _"Your antennae are sensitive, as I'm sure you've found out. Never allow them to be used against you."_

_No…!_

Roy's discovery spelled doom for Dib as a pain shot through his body when an antenna was roughly yanked. Instantly letting go with a cry, Dib scraped at the teen's hand in a desperate attempt to dislodge the grip. A muffled noise of discomfort from behind him proved he was doing damage, but another merciless tug had him curling in on himself. Was this lumbering oaf going to rip his new antenna right out of his skull with his stupid sweaty hands!?

"George, what the hell _is_ this thing…? I thought he was human, but look at these!"

Dib cracked open an eye as the pain subsided, but was well aware of the hand that still held a black stalk hostage. Putting all the venom and loathing he could into one loaded glare, Dib's jaws parted of their own volition as his tongue curled S's to make a threatening hiss.

This served only to cause George to slur out a "Whoah…!" and Roy to tighten his fingers, making Dib break his hiss with a grimace.

"If you don't let me go, I'll… uh… I'll suck out your brains and eat them!" The hybrid shrilly threatened, letting out a pained "Ow!" when his other antenna was pulled in reply.

"Dude, dude let's totally take it home!" Roy gibbered excitedly.

"I'm _clearly_ a guy, you asshats!...OW!"

George leaned down and locked eyes with Dib, seeming to contemplate.

"C'mon man, I'll keep him quiet if you look out for the fuzz. This is bigger than smokin', bro."

Roy shrugged apathetically. "A'ight." He muttered, standing up from his crouch. "He'll make good target practice for my new bb."

The incensed part-Irken saw red. These buffoons had just captured an alien lifeform (sort of) and all they could think about was shooting little plastic pellets at him!? He bet he could hear more intelligent ideas coming from a _rock_!

Feeling a surge of rage, Dib felt as though a dormant portion of his brain he'd never accessed before jerked wildly awake in retaliation. A sliding metal _"Shnk"_ was heard, and immediately his poor antenna was released- but not without a sickening snap and flash of white-hot pain.

Whipping around, Dib saw Roy stumbling back with a face white as paper and a small gash across his cheek. A shuffling behind him told Dib George had also retreated hastily, and Dib took the moment to bring his Pak leg in front of him. Almost stabbing himself in the process, Dib managed to clumsily maneuver it in front of his face to examine the small bit of red on the tip. Wiping it off on his shirt, Dib added another article of clothing to his growing mental list of laundry. Waving the leg away from him carefully, Dib felt as though part of his motor cortex was taking a stretch after a lifetime-long hibernation.

It was the oddest sensation, almost as strange as when he'd first rubbed an antenna. It felt as natural as having any other biological limb, but the unexpectedness and unfamiliarity with it put Dib at a loss. He felt as though an unnaturally long arm had sprouted out of his back, and the muscles to control it were there- he just didn't know how to coordinate them. It was spooky, and he was reminded of stories of people who had lost limbs but claimed they could still feel them.

Except in his case he'd, you know, _gained_ one.

"_Dib!_ Get your pathetic human self- ah, yes, you're no longer completely human are you?... Hm… well, get your pathetic _mutant_ self over here!"

Dib turned a quick circle like a dog startled from behind, one antenna moving to locate where the voice was coming from among the trees while the other remained limply plastered to his skull. Triangulating successfully in a matter of seconds, Dib darted past the teenagers with speed he already knew exceeded a human's and dashed into the woods. Surprised and indignant shouts echoed from behind him, but the hybrid dodged trees and cleared bushes like a creature built for the forest. Running on autopilot, Dib loped along a moment before stopping and deciding he'd gone farther in than the humans would dare to follow.

His lungs efficiently sequestered the oxygen away, and Dib was amazed to find he wasn't strained or panting in the least. Irkens _were_ physically superior to humans, it seemed.

"Dib smell-piss-ant-trash-filth-grub! Up here!"

Dib flicked his eyes above him and made out a vague shape among the branches of a tree, and prepared to launch himself up to the lowest hanging bough.

Irkens may have been physically superior, but if they all had the same mental capacity as Zim… well, they had a long ways to go yet.

"Why are you here, Zim?" Dib ground out quietly, hearing the far-off tromping and stumbling of Roy and George nowhere near his position.

A cloud in the night sky scudding away from the moon dispelled the shadow, allowing a sliver of moonlight to illuminate half of the Irken; half was all Dib needed to tell the jerk was _smiling_ at him.

"Zim was out walking Gir-"

"At two in the morning!?" Dib interrupted, looking around for said robot but finding nothing.

Zim suffered him a glare, but picked up where he had left off. "I was walking Gir, when I heard your squealy scream of lady-like pain."

"Hey! I don't scream like a lady!"

"Do too."

"Do not!"

"Do to."

"Do _not!_"

"Meat child!"

"Space fungus!"

"Fecal pig!"

"Slimy bug man- OWW!"

Dib gingerly touched his abused antenna when it tried to flick forward with its partner in anger, holding in a whimper of pain. _Shit_ did that ever hurt.

"Your antenna is popped out of place."

Dib crossed his arms and huffed at Zim, giving the other a stink eye. "Reeeally? You don't say!"

"Come here, smelly monster."

Dib barely had time to register the order before Zim had nullified his own request by going to him instead. Perching on the same branch, Dib dug his toes farther into the bark of the tree as the limb swayed under the added weight.

An uninvited prodding to the injured antenna had Dib hissing and backing away, only just catching himself before a claw instinctively shot out to slice at Zim.

"Rrrgh! Filthy meat child, I'm trying to help you!" The Irken snarled in frustration, antennae flattening. He could sympathize with the Dib's painfully dislocated stalk- he'd had his own antenna almost yanked out once himself- but the hybrid was being foolish. What did he expect to do? Run to a hospital and be discovered, or crouch in a cave somewhere until the wound healed incorrectly?

Dib disregarded the Irken's words and pressed his back against the tree trunk, flinching forward when his Pak-covered spine twinged at the impact.

Zim made a deliberate effort to relax, scooting along the branch towards Dib again with a sour expression. "I need to pop this back in, Dib. You have to push away the instinct to run and hide or I'll have to re-break your antenna if it heals wrong."

Dib's flighty heart slowed down a bit, but he still remained tense as Zim made humming sounds while observing his pinned antenna. Unaware he had steadily shrunk away throughout the examination until Zim grabbed his shirt front and hauled him forward again, Dib suppressed a whimper in his throat before it could slip out. He'd broken an arm once as a kid, but the pain radiating out from his skull now made that feel like a walk through a meadow.

"This is going to hurt, Dib beast." Zim informed Dib as he carefully braced a hand against Dib's head and wrapped the other around the injury.

"H-how much?" Dib stammered, already disliking the feeling of another being touching his antenna. It felt almost like a violation of some sort; like some sort of taboo creed had been broken despite the intentions behind it. Zim looked equally put-off by the situation, but a tightness around his red eyes proved his determination to see it through.

"A lot. Don't stab me with that stupid leg you barely know how to use, either." Zim replied airily, wincing at Dib's shriek as he swiftly popped the antenna back into place without warning.

Zim made a hasty retreat along the branch and Dib watched out of the corner of his eye as he wrung his hands like they were dirty. As if through a haze, the half-Irken groaned and leaned against the rough trunk with no regard to the pangs of pain from his back. It felt as though someone actually _had_ ripped his antenna out this time, but beneath all the discomfort was the realization that his new anatomy felt right again. He could twitch his antenna despite the pain it caused, and that was certainly better than not being able to move it at all.

"Thanks…" Dib managed, bringing a hand up to poke at the base of the black stalk gently. Ouch. That'd be swelling for sure.

"Hmph." Zim grunted, crossing his arms and sizing Dib up critically. "Huma- er, Dib slime, it seems as though combat training should be what we cover first when you return for further instruction. You fight like a bitch."

Dib felt his drained energy return in a rush and stood angrily. "Who said I was _gonna_ come back, Zim? I should be furious enough to kill you right now."

If looks could kill, Zim would have died several times over.

As it was, looks could _not_ in fact kill- so Zim was more than alive enough to hiss in rage and stomp along the narrow tree branch towards Dib.

"You can't simply _ignore_ what you are now, Dib. Hate me or not, your pathetic self needs the amazingness that is ZIM!"

Dib gave a short hiss of his own, crouching in preparation to spring at Zim, the several feet off the ground be dammed- if he landed on top of Zim it would only make the fall more worth it.

"How did you expect to go to skool on Monday with eyes like those?"

The quietly posed question threw Dib off and his heated glare lessened a little. "Well… I uh..." Dib stammered, hand coming up to rub at an eye self-consciously.

Zim smirked knowingly, posture not defensive in the least as he stood at the trembling end of the branch with an ease of balance Dib felt he'd never obtain even _with_ combat training.

"Oh, you'll return Dib. You need the special contacts only ZIM can provide!"

Dib bit his lip angrily. Zim had him there; he couldn't just ditch skool for the rest of his cursed life, nor could he show up with giant oval pools of amber where his glasses and pupils used to be.

"Just this once, Zim. But only because I need what you ha-"

The conversation was abruptly cut short by a blundering, crashing noise in the undergrowth like a herd of elephants prancing by. Dib's head whipped down in the direction of the noise, and he smothered a groan of pain as his injured antenna automatically twitched and moved to better pick up the sounds. Creeping back along the tree warily, eyes scanning the gloom for the source of the sound, Dib huddled against the trunk. It had to be Roy and George again- they must have heard his scream when Zim fixed his antenna.

"Dib. Don't be stupid- get the drop on them now while you have the element of surprise." Zim's voice whispered from some point above Dib, and he spared only a brief moment to puzzle how the Irken had gotten there before the two teenagers broke through a wall of bracken and stumbled into the tiny clearing.

"_This is so asinine. I'm hiding in a tree in the middle of the woods with two potheads at three in the morning. Don't I have better things to be doing?"_ Dib asked himself as he tracked the two's path across the forest floor.

Setting his jaw, Dib released from the tree and scraped his way down the bark like a cat. He DID have better things to be doing than harassing these teenagers and vice versa, and if Zim was going to try to goad him into another little late night tussle, he wasn't up for the game.

Locating the sound of the city, Dib shoved his hands in the pockets of his trench coat and walked in the opposite direction from George and Roy and, hopefully, Zim. The two fools would find their way out eventually- the city park wasn't _that_ enormous- and if Zim had any wits at all he would recognize Dib's foul mood and keep a distance.

"Dib-stupid! You had them! Why let them go?"

Dib's odd teeth ground together. Zim would never learn, would he? Looking up at where the Irken was suspended between trees from his spider legs, Dib knit where his eyebrows would be if he had any and gave Zim a hard stare.

"Because I'm not a killer like you."

Zim's open mouth and miffed expression fell away at this, being replaced with something that seemed almost insulted.

"Zim is not a murderer! I only meant for you to knock them around a bit- you know, make them rue your name and such."

Dib snorted and rolled his eyes, spotting the treeline and gate in the distance with relief. "I don't feel like it. Too much on my mind." He mumbled, resolving not to look back at Zim.

"How can you possibly object to returning pain caused to you? It seems fair to me."

The resolve was immediately broken as Dib whirled around and grabbed one of Zim's spider legs. Hauling it away from the tree, the alien crashed to the ground in a heap with an _"Oof!"_

"Because, Zim. Humans aren't like that. You don't just hurt people because you think they deserve it. But you wouldn't know- you don't feel anything."

Zim rolled his dark red eyes up to squint at Dib from his place on the ground in thought. "But you aren't truly human anymore… now are you?"

Dib broke at that statement. He _was_ human! On the _inside!_ And Zim would never take that away; not with a Pak, not with military training, not with anything.

Lunging at Zim, Dib balled his hand into a fist and cracked the Irken squarely in the face with a satisfying thud.

"Ow! You little piss monkey, what was that for!?"

Dib shrugged and kept a blank look as the Irken held his jaw in pain. "I did it because it felt good. And, going by your logic, you _deserved_ it."

Zim hissed, antennae rising in anger. That stupid, ungrateful little…! He'd changed him into a part Irken so his pathetically short life wouldn't end after a few decades, and he gets _punched_ as thanks?

But before Zim could scrape himself off the ground to fight back, Dib was gone. Only the pattering of his running footsteps growing ever fainter indicated he'd took off, and Zim groused to himself as he pulled on his wig and popped in his contacts. Like it or not, amends needed to be made or the Dib-stink might do something foolish in his pathetic misery.

So, bolting after Dib, Zim pondered what he'd said.

"_You don't feel anything."_

It wasn't true. He was a defective; cast out and unwanted. He knew he could feel when the rage enveloping him had driven him to destroy his main computer room in a fury after the Tallests' transmission was cut.

He also knew he could feel when he'd looked around at the decimation and eked out a faint "Sorry." to his computer without understanding why, before setting Gir to work fixing up the rubble.

And again when he'd noticed Dib's increase in height and age, and a strange weight had pressed against his chest. The one person he had a connection to would eventually leave him as well, and the foreign sense of desperation and loneliness had driven him to start work on Dib's Pak that very night. So what if it was illegal? It wasn't like his Tallests were going to check up on him or anything…

"Dib! Dib, wait!" Zim called out when he hit the streets and saw a flash of Dib's signature black trench coat swirling around a corner. Giving chase, he cursed when he recognized the street they were on- Dib's street. Getting the lead out, Zim realized he wasn't going to catch up to the fleeing hybrid when the front door to his house slammed in his face just as they both scrambled up the walkway and porch.

"…Dib? I know you can hear me, you sweaty pig monster."

"…"

Hm. Not very tactful. "I'll… see you tomorrow. And Dib?"

The faintest of shufflings behind the door told Zim the hybrid was still there and listening.

"Sorry. And for the record, I do feel."

On the other side of the door, Dib rested his chin on his knees with wide eyes. Had Zim been abducted and replaced by an alien? Almost immediately the irony hit him, and Dib gave a short laugh. An alien, being abducted and replaced by an alien… the hilarity was almost too much for him in his mentally exhausted state, and he stood and clomped up the steps to his room letting out short insane giggles every now and then. Opening his door, gathering up his sheets, and pulling off his coat and shirt, he added them to the pile. Changing into his pajamas, Dib wearily touched the base of his antenna and let out a long whine. He'd better take care of this laundry now if he wanted covers tomorrow night…

"You look shitty."

Jumping at the exclamation and tilting his head to hide his injury without knowing why, Dib eyed his sister. Clad in purple flannel pajamas and looking disturbingly neat despite having likely been asleep, she had her hands on her hips critically as she took stock of the scrapes and swelling antenna.

"I thought I told you not to get mugged."

Dib let a breath out, unsure why he had expected worse. Gaz _was _concerned- she was just burying it under a stinging layer of sarcasm as per usual.

"I didn't. I got into a fight with some potheads at the park."

Gaz's eyebrow rose delicately. "Doesn't sound like you. Why didn't you pussy out and run screaming?"

Dib heaved the bundle of blankets and clothing into his arms with ease and pushed past his sister. "I was watching the stars."

Before he had moved completely beyond her, Dib's wide range of vision caught sight of the acknowledgement flitting across her features. She knew about Dib's connection between space and their mother, and also knew the time was special to him. Dib must have been furious at the interruption.

"Do they look as shitty as you?"

Dib harrumphed, peering around the bundle of cloth as he tottered his way downstairs to the washing machine.

"They both look like they got mauled by a bunch of pissed off raccoons." Dib admitted with a hint of dark pride. They HAD messed up his night, after all.

"And you look like someone put your, uh… antenna… in a car compactor because…?" Gaz prompted, faltering only momentarily at labeling one of Dib's new features out loud.

Dib sheepishly opened the hallway door with his hip and kicked it aside, flicking the light switch with his elbow despite not needing the extra illumination. "Um… one of them got a hold of me from behind."

Gaz groaned and leaned against the doorframe as Dib stuffed his bundle into the washer. Squinting against the light, she gave him a disapproving look. "Aren't you aware that keeping your back guarded is important?"

Dib huffed short-temperedly, drizzling detergent over the clothes before slamming the lid down. "I know! I just…" He trailed off searchingly, waving a clawed hand in the air vaguely.

"You just fight like a little girl." Gaz finished for him, yawning and growing bored with the discourse at the early hour and wishing to return to sleep. "You should at least let Zim teach you how to not make a pathetic fool of yourself if you're ever attacked again." Gaz imparted this last gem of wisdom before leaving the bright utility room and padding back upstairs.

"_I'd sooner play tag with a herd of bears than have Zim teach me __**anything**__."_ Dib venomously thought, twisting the knob and pulling it out to start the wash. Leaning against the warm machine as it vibrated with the cleaning cycle, Dib sorted through all the sensory information he could detect. Gaz was just getting into bed, the amount of chirping crickets seemed multiplied by the thousands, and the slushing of the wash in the machine was almost hypnotic to listen to. The room smelled like clothes both dirty and clean, soapy laundry detergent, and the lingering flowery smell of the dryer vent. And the ground beneath his two-toed feet was chill from the combination of being tiled and in the darkness for hours on end.

Scoring his feet across the surface, Dib let out an "oops." at the new hair-thin scratches spiderwebbing the floor. Would he ever get used to this body?

Speaking of which, his lone extended Pak leg was still folded up under his trench coat but not retracted at all. Could he put this stupid thing away safely so he wouldn't impale himself while sleeping? Trying to reach into that unfamiliar territory of his mind again, Dib yelped when the leg almost sliced a gash in his coat while unfolding.

Instead of ruining his nice jacket, it shot past and buried itself into the wall, right through the face of one of the relative's pictures hung up. Hrm… Aunt Bessie wouldn't be happy her face was half missing now…

Well, what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. Pulling the picture off the wall and discreetly tossing it in the trashbin, Dib focused his attention back on his fifth limb.

Watching it warily like a cobra poised to strike, Dib did his best to will the appendage back inside the permanent mechanical backpack of sorts he now wore. Leg quivering for a moment before sliding back in, Dib released the breath he'd been holding as the hole it had vanished into closed a blue panel over the opening.

There were some neat little toys in this Pak of his, he was sure- Dib just didn't feel up to maiming himself in his curiosity.

Setting the machine to automatically begin a drying cycle once the wash was done, Dib flipped the light switch and left with a wide yawn. Complaining within his head as his claws caught in the rug here and there, Dib made it to his room and curled up on his bare bed. Draping the comforter over him, he fluffed a pillow tiredly before settling down and thanking Zim's incomplete tinkering with his DNA that he was still _able_ to sleep.

Shit… he really did _**not**_ want to go to Zim's house tomorrow…

* * *

This chapter was hard to write- don't know why. It just was. (I hope it didn't suck though.) I also wanted to thank all the people who reviewed last chapter! You guys rock, and seeing those reviews gave me the kick I needed to just suck it up and finish the chapter out. Stick with me- this story won't be abandoned. I promise~

Read and review, you awesome blobs of jello you :3


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